Early September is Like That

How do people in more temperate climates know that time is passing? Our nights are now cooler, and longer. We spend summer so fevered, rarely sleeping, jazzed up on the anxiety to make each ray of sunshine count. Now we can occasionally stay in at night, maybe read a book. Get a good night’s sleep. Soon, we’ll put on socks.

And now the children go to school. New best friends are chosen and first day outfits are selected and the future writers caress the clean, lined pages of eager notebooks. And teachers go back to teaching and parents go back to day-care drop-offs and everyone resolves to be their very best this year.

Angst and separation echo through September. I flashback to leaving my daughter at Junior Kindergarten and smiling bravely for her, saying how exciting it is she is in school now! and look at all your new friends! and isn’t this classroom fun?!

Then walking around the corner out of view of the classroom windows and crying my young mom eyes out. It is so hard to send our cherished children into the world to fend for themselves. How will she get through the whole day with no hugs?

I don’t think this gets much easier. They grow and are more resilient and are independent and it’s amazing and an honour to behold. But it’s painful too! – the flashback to first year University, dropping off the same daughter at residence and smiling bravely, saying how exciting it is she’s in University now! and look at all your new friends! and isn’t this dorm room… cute?!

Then driving around the corner and out of view and having to pull over because the tears have blinded me. How can I drive five hours away from this cherished child?

This September, my son is releasing a new app. He and his business partner have a huge launch event planned for tomorrow. I can’t pack his lunch for that. I can’t remind him to… to what? I don’t even understand most of what this venture is! He’s doing a Very Big Thing and it’s like I’m watching it over Skype.

The feeling is the same. The angst, the anxiety, the excitement, the pride. The requirement to do nothing while this cherished child walks forward into the world – and increasingly both of them walk into worlds I’ve never seen before. I never want to say “Be careful!” because you don’t write and launch cutting-edge technology by being careful. But if I could cast a protection spell, I would.

(What proud Mom would spend the day before this Big Deal Day writing about mom-experience and not link to her son’s site? here is his amazing networking app )

One thought on “Early September is Like That

  1. I love reading your writing! Even after being out of school for so many years, and never having the experience of watching my children leave home, September still feels like the beginning of the year to me. So many more things change now than in January! And doesn’t it just SMELL like change?

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s